Falling sure, you could call it that, I prefer flying

Well people... these last two weeks have been crazy! I have basically been living with Mike, I think the last time I slept at home was Monday, September 20th! Yup... I'm shacking up.  Who would have thought it? I am having a blast! He has a son, named Jake, who turned 7 on September 18th.  Legit the cutest best kid ever.  I have been taking him to see Coco (my mom's horse) and he LOVES it! I am so glad that I have something cool for him.  I am so falling in love with this kid, oh and Mike of course.  I think I am turning domestic (gulp).  The weird thing is that I am so enjoying it.  Getting Jake ready for bed, helping him with his homework, making sure Mike accomplishes some homework/dissertation stuff.  I don't want to be too much of a distraction.  It would be nice if we were able to accomplish things ya know? But at the same time, I don't need to push anything.  Its all happening really naturally... I dunno, its just easy.  There really doesn't seem to be any work involved.  Odd how that happens.  I am falling more in love everyday.  I have a toothbrush here now, and he is making me a key.  Is this too fast? I was talking to Nick about it, and he was floored, but I dunno, I think as long as Mike and I both feel comfortable with the place we are at then it can't really be wrong? Thoughts guys?

I think I am in a grown up relationship.  Its really cool.  And Mike and I get into the coolest discussions on philosophy, human nature, reincarnation, life, soul, math, quantum theory.... he comes from a science molecular type level and I come from a macro big picture level, we pretty much always come to the same conclusion but the journey on the way there is always fascinating.  Like today we were talking about energy and reincarnation and some law that exists that basically means that energy cannot be created or destroyed, it merely changes form.  He told me that there are places where atoms (or sub-atomic things... not really sure) seemingly appear out of nowhere, but that they don't seem like they are spontaneously popping into existence, but seem like they are being transported from one place and popping into another with absolutely no time lapse, so in essence they are existing in both places at the same time for just the smallest space of time.  Its crazy!!!

We are nerds together.

But its really cool because he makes me see the world differently.  I dunno, somehow it seems more magical when I look up at the mountains or the moon or the stars, when you start to understand the small stuff it all seems so much more random and lucky.  He is good to me, so don't you guys worry on that front.  He really sees me, in a way that I have never felt before.  The way he describes me is awesome, like he is forming this picture of me and puts it into words that I have never been able to express.  He knows who I am without me having to tell him.  I dunno, does that sound insane?  I have seriously never laughed so much, loved so much, had so much fun, felt so secure and safe.  He did some intelligence work when he was in the army so he is pretty bad ass.  And sexy as hell... ok enough bragging about my man.  Sorry.  I tend to get carried away.  

hmmm... I guess I don't really have much else to talk about, this is essentially what I have been doing for the past two weeks.  Falling in love.  But it doesn't really feel like falling... more like soaring, I am flying in love? I think I like it.

Unexpected Forays. The stuff of Life

Sometimes things just come along that you do not expect in the least.  I plan on moving to another continent in a few months, why the hell would I want a romantic entanglement here in Colorado? Why would I want something that will tie me down? I want my freedom!  Well something has come along.  Unexpected for sure, but its there.  I don't know what exactly, its far too early to make any sort of predictions, whether realistic or ridiculous but that feeling is there.  That "i haven't been this excited about someone in (insert some measurement of time here)"

Yep its there, and there is no denying it.  We just have fun, we laugh and joke, and have cool discussions (we come from very different scholarly backgrounds he is PhD Computer Science / Mathematician student who works in the biology field right now - and I well you know Anthro, philosophy, Macro in other words), we snuggle and make out.  There is not a lack of chemistry that is for sure.  We get along swimmingly, and its easy! It has never felt like work to force a conversation, there are comfortable silences (something I find shocking after only knowing a person for 2 days - true we did spend 26 hours of those two days together so some level of comfort must be expected - but does that comfort level come from the time or the ease with which it is spent? I don't think time alone can do that), there are funny jokes, teasing back and forth, I even snored in his ear at one point and he never once let me go.  It is in that period of "wow I met this awesome dude, that I totally respect as a human being and as an intellectual, there is some mystery there, I feel totally safe when I am with him, he makes me laugh, makes me breakfast and French press coffee (that is brownie points right there) and my knees buckle" where are the faults here???? What am I supposed to do with that? I mean at this point I am slightly in awe of the guy.  He is just a fucking awesome man.

So I ask again why? 

Well I have managed to once again fall into the trap of assumptions.  Clearly by asking why I am assuming that this will go somewhere, and while I hope that it does indeed continue in some form or another, I find myself asking myself why I am asking why.  Why can't I just let it be whatever the hell it will be? Who knows where this world will take me, who knows what is in store? If for some reason something comes of this than awesome, totally down, but at the same time, how ridiculous is it to wonder about what the future holds in this case? I think its time for a little life lesson about letting go more.  Clearly I cannot control the future so why start worrying about something that may not even happen and if something does happen the sad part is months away.

For now I am going to sit back and enjoy the journey, cause hey, isn't that what its all about anyway?