Monday, September 27, 2010

Falling sure, you could call it that, I prefer flying

Well people... these last two weeks have been crazy! I have basically been living with Mike, I think the last time I slept at home was Monday, September 20th! Yup... I'm shacking up.  Who would have thought it? I am having a blast! He has a son, named Jake, who turned 7 on September 18th.  Legit the cutest best kid ever.  I have been taking him to see Coco (my mom's horse) and he LOVES it! I am so glad that I have something cool for him.  I am so falling in love with this kid, oh and Mike of course.  I think I am turning domestic (gulp).  The weird thing is that I am so enjoying it.  Getting Jake ready for bed, helping him with his homework, making sure Mike accomplishes some homework/dissertation stuff.  I don't want to be too much of a distraction.  It would be nice if we were able to accomplish things ya know? But at the same time, I don't need to push anything.  Its all happening really naturally... I dunno, its just easy.  There really doesn't seem to be any work involved.  Odd how that happens.  I am falling more in love everyday.  I have a toothbrush here now, and he is making me a key.  Is this too fast? I was talking to Nick about it, and he was floored, but I dunno, I think as long as Mike and I both feel comfortable with the place we are at then it can't really be wrong? Thoughts guys?

I think I am in a grown up relationship.  Its really cool.  And Mike and I get into the coolest discussions on philosophy, human nature, reincarnation, life, soul, math, quantum theory.... he comes from a science molecular type level and I come from a macro big picture level, we pretty much always come to the same conclusion but the journey on the way there is always fascinating.  Like today we were talking about energy and reincarnation and some law that exists that basically means that energy cannot be created or destroyed, it merely changes form.  He told me that there are places where atoms (or sub-atomic things... not really sure) seemingly appear out of nowhere, but that they don't seem like they are spontaneously popping into existence, but seem like they are being transported from one place and popping into another with absolutely no time lapse, so in essence they are existing in both places at the same time for just the smallest space of time.  Its crazy!!!

We are nerds together.

But its really cool because he makes me see the world differently.  I dunno, somehow it seems more magical when I look up at the mountains or the moon or the stars, when you start to understand the small stuff it all seems so much more random and lucky.  He is good to me, so don't you guys worry on that front.  He really sees me, in a way that I have never felt before.  The way he describes me is awesome, like he is forming this picture of me and puts it into words that I have never been able to express.  He knows who I am without me having to tell him.  I dunno, does that sound insane?  I have seriously never laughed so much, loved so much, had so much fun, felt so secure and safe.  He did some intelligence work when he was in the army so he is pretty bad ass.  And sexy as hell... ok enough bragging about my man.  Sorry.  I tend to get carried away.  

hmmm... I guess I don't really have much else to talk about, this is essentially what I have been doing for the past two weeks.  Falling in love.  But it doesn't really feel like falling... more like soaring, I am flying in love? I think I like it.

Monday, September 20, 2010

One of those nights

Guys... The mountains here are unreal.  Mike and I were driving along and he decides to take the scenic route back to his apartment.  Well scenic in the Rocky mountains vs CT = TOTALLY different! We were driving up along Horsetooth Resevoir.  It was dusk, he was playing the Decemberists, there was mist coming off the mountain tops with the resevoir in the foreground.  It was magic.  I was suddenly struck by how wonderous this world is.  I mean its really fucking incredible.  Do you ever look around you and just think "Wow.  All of this is here, existing in this one moment in this one space just being.  How is this possible? How has the earth managed to be just the right size, spinning the right speed, at just the right distance from the sun for hundreds of thousands of years.  How did we manage to evolve from amiebas to thinking acting, compassionate human beings.  How mind blowing is this world?" And there you are looking around you at all the wonders of the world driving through this glorious place, holding hands and listening to music.  Its all so shocking. 

Life is such a fantastically, terrifying, wonderous, difficult, beautiful crazy amazing thing.  God I just love the struggle.  The hard stuff... the stuff that you can really sink your teeth into and just bite.  The work and the play. You can't have good with out bad.  You cannot have compassion without cruelty, or happiness without sadness.  Its all in the journey, the balance of life, the gloriousness. 

I just feel so lucky these days.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Unexpected Forays. The stuff of Life

Sometimes things just come along that you do not expect in the least.  I plan on moving to another continent in a few months, why the hell would I want a romantic entanglement here in Colorado? Why would I want something that will tie me down? I want my freedom!  Well something has come along.  Unexpected for sure, but its there.  I don't know what exactly, its far too early to make any sort of predictions, whether realistic or ridiculous but that feeling is there.  That "i haven't been this excited about someone in (insert some measurement of time here)"

Yep its there, and there is no denying it.  We just have fun, we laugh and joke, and have cool discussions (we come from very different scholarly backgrounds he is PhD Computer Science / Mathematician student who works in the biology field right now - and I well you know Anthro, philosophy, Macro in other words), we snuggle and make out.  There is not a lack of chemistry that is for sure.  We get along swimmingly, and its easy! It has never felt like work to force a conversation, there are comfortable silences (something I find shocking after only knowing a person for 2 days - true we did spend 26 hours of those two days together so some level of comfort must be expected - but does that comfort level come from the time or the ease with which it is spent? I don't think time alone can do that), there are funny jokes, teasing back and forth, I even snored in his ear at one point and he never once let me go.  It is in that period of "wow I met this awesome dude, that I totally respect as a human being and as an intellectual, there is some mystery there, I feel totally safe when I am with him, he makes me laugh, makes me breakfast and French press coffee (that is brownie points right there) and my knees buckle" where are the faults here???? What am I supposed to do with that? I mean at this point I am slightly in awe of the guy.  He is just a fucking awesome man.

So I ask again why? 

Well I have managed to once again fall into the trap of assumptions.  Clearly by asking why I am assuming that this will go somewhere, and while I hope that it does indeed continue in some form or another, I find myself asking myself why I am asking why.  Why can't I just let it be whatever the hell it will be? Who knows where this world will take me, who knows what is in store? If for some reason something comes of this than awesome, totally down, but at the same time, how ridiculous is it to wonder about what the future holds in this case? I think its time for a little life lesson about letting go more.  Clearly I cannot control the future so why start worrying about something that may not even happen and if something does happen the sad part is months away.

For now I am going to sit back and enjoy the journey, cause hey, isn't that what its all about anyway?

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Colorado Adventuring

Ok people.  I have been in Colorado for about two weeks now.  It has been awesome! I spend my days with my mom and grandmother making peach jam, spiced peaches, canning peaches, making peach syrup, peach chutney for meat (I am not kidding this is legit what I have been doing).  We have two peach trees in our backyard and well my mom and grandmother are crazy so we have made 25 jars of peach jam, 5 jars of peach syrup, 5 jars of chutney, 12 jars of just canned peaches in simple syrup, and 6 jars of spiced peaches.  How random is that???

I have also gone on two quasi-date things with the same guy, we kissed today, not good - it was like kissing my cousin or something, no sparks at all... Well he is cool, I hope he will be ok with just being friends, how do you tell someone that your just not into it? I hate this... this is why I don't date.

I have also been going riding.  Like on horses.  Thats been pretty cool, I am getting better at it, which is good because I love to ride.  My mom has been giving me some lessons.  I galloped the other day... slightly terrifying when you are unsure of how to stop.

I also got into a minor car accident last weekend.  I was with my bro and some friends down in Boulder, we decided to buy some Salvia (HOLY SHIT! story will come later).  So we picked some up, everyone was wasted except for me so naturally I was the driver.  Anyway, I pull out of a parking spot, legit look both ways but somehow don't see a massive blue SUV coming down the hill... Am I blind? I catch it before its bad, slam on my breaks and the kid grazes along my license plate I actually bumped him going like 2 mph... a nothing right? well the kid (who was deaf btw, did not know that deaf people were allowed to drive - good to know that in some circumstances a horn may not make another driver aware of the fact that you are already in the spot they are encroaching on) was pretty cool about it, we decided no cops, he is fine, I am fine, its all legit, trade info, a little over cautious about the whole thing but whatever.  His car has scratches, mine is fine except where my license plate once was, we call it a day.  He gets some quotes, $2,000 fucking dollars... for scratches! yeah... so I call my insurance company give them a heads up and his info, text him and tell him its all taken care of, my insurance co will contact him and he is good to go.  He says "Ok, I am calling the cops" WHAT?!?!?! decided to file a report just cause.  I asked my insurance company if they required a police report, they said no, and I told him that!  sooooo.... why call the cops? don't know... So a cop calls me while I am out on that first date with the dude that I am not super into, I ignore the call, no problem call them later.  Cop leaves obnoxiously cop like message so I call him back, leave a VM, still have heard nothing... I do not know what is going on.  But moral of the story, do not hit deaf kids driving big blue SUVs... They seem cool at first but later turn on you.

ok salvia... WOW blew my mind... First time that night could not stop laughing cause the color red was EVERYWHERE... second time, nothing, I didn't hit it right or something... third time... oooohhhhh man... I was in another world! I was chillin on the couch, totally normal, it hasn't hit yet, so my friend decides to be funny and starts flickering the lights I immediately freak out because I am afraid that I will freak out so I hide under this massive white blanket.  Then it hits me... I am GONE! I remember some of it, but apparently I kept saying "Shhhhh... don't laugh, they are in here with me... shhhh... look! ooooo! They are in here oh my god! shhhh..." for like 2 minutes... when I came out from under the blanket and resurfaced into the normal world my brother goes "Brit, what was happening???" I start dieing laughing and say "The Rockies duhhhh!" I was climbing the Rocky mountains underneath a blanket and it all made so much sense... oh boy...

So Miah and I came back from our Boulder adventure, exhausted, missing the front license plate from my car, and in a a severe salvia hangover, only to discover that we had a shit ton of peach picking and canning and jamming to do... oh man.  So that has been CO in a nutshell...

OH WAIT! Crazy story!
So I decide to go out the other night, Labor day night, so Monday, to meet up with this kid at Buffalo Wild Wings near my house, he is 30 min late, I am 5 min early so I start drinking alone.  Meet these two awesome dudes at the bar -  not kidding their names were Johnnie Walker and Josh Jameson - I made them show me their I.D.s it was legit.  They had just met at the bar 30 min before I came in so we all bonded in the whole strangers thing.  Then Jaimie (the guy I was meeting up with) comes in, we all order shots and booze and the night is starting off glorious.  We all mesh really well, have a blast don't want the night to end at 1.  So Johnnie calls up his friend to see if the pool hall where she works is open... nada, by this point its 1:30... so I suggest we go to a titty-bar! They stay open later! So I pull out a 20 in cash, exchange it for ones at a gas station and we call the titty-bar... they close in ten minutes... FUCK.... So Johnnie says, hey! I have a hot tub and a fire pit in my apt complex, no booze, but its something to do! So we all agree, walk over to his complex, hop the fence and get into the hot tub..... so fun! we are in there for like an hour, Josh passes out in the hot tub, refuses to get out, very funny.  We head over to the fire pit I attempt to wring out my bra, does no good, we turn on the fire, Johnnie has some blankets and we all wrap up... except Jaimie... this kid lol decides he wants to dry out his boxers.  So he just gets naked.  In the middle of the complex, I have pictures! oh man, by the time his shorts are dry its 4 am, I decide to head home... what a glorious night, 4 strangers coming together on Labor day night, end up in a hot tub at 3 am and a fire by 4 am... You can't make this fairy tale kind of stuff up

And that is CO in a nutshell... at least so far. More stories will come, I still have a shit ton of Salvia... love that its legal!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

A much needed rant... sorry

Today one of my “friends” on facebook asked me to join their cause. It was called “STOP THE BUILDING OF MOSQUE NEAR GROUND ZERO SITE!!!

Now any one who knows me would obviously not invite me to such a ridiculous “cause”. Lets just get one thing strait here, I am not going to join. I am very much for the recreation center (because it is NOT a mosque – it is a rec center with a prayer room) being built. The space is privately owned, it will be privately funded by ahem... this is the kicker, the largest shareholder of FOX”news” aside from Murdoch. Yet FOX“news” has called this “guy” (they refuse to refer to him by name because someone might recognize him as the largest owner of FOX”news” outside of Murdoch) a sponsor of terrorist. Yup... they called one of their owners a financier of extremists. His name you ask? Why its alwaleed bin talal. He runs a little company called “The Kingdom Foundation” and is the nephew of King Abdulluh (king of Saudi Arabia).

So it is actually sort of being partially financed by the earnings of FOX“news”. Ok so now we have established that some American money is backing this PRIVATE enterprise (oh is Capitalism only good when it is doing what you want it to do? Yeah the notions of private enterprise can be a bitch when it isn't doing what you want it to.... sorry... tell that to the Jamaicans, they know). Ok so its clearly well within the bounds of our God of Capitalism. What about Capitalism's God-bitch, Democracy, how does she feel about it?

Weelllll...... considering the fact that America was born on immigration and freedom of religion, one would think that it fits in ok. I mean, isn't that why the first (or maybe second depending on what you call the native Americans) immigrants came to this country? The right to freedom of religion and freedom from religious persecution? It's kind of like the two BIGGEST American foundation myths. Doesn't it seem to suggest that building a Moslem rec center should be allowed? Its not like the tax-payers are funding this... FOX“news” certainly made that clear.

Ok, so it's fine by Capitalism and her bitch Democracy, what about the American character? How does it fit into our national character and our emotions?

Well... this requires a littles escapade into the land of crazytown. The cause that I was talking about earlier (yeah the one that looks really impressive and forbidding with its over use of CAPS and !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) people are saying some very funny things. I will share a few,

Johnathon Scott Steed writes:

“One nation under God, not Alah. Somebody needs to remind president Obama what this country was founded on, to build a mosque in the place where we were attacked is a slap in the the face to every true american. God have mercy on our souls.”

First of all, Allah is spelled with two Ls.... second, America/ns is supposed to be capitalized. And I have always heard that when you capitalize something it means you respect it (subconciously) and when you don't you subconsciously do not respect it. What does this guys non-capitalization of “american” say? Just curious.

In Response to J. Steed I say this:

You fucking idiotic ignoramus – this country was FOUNDED ON RELIGIOUS FREEDOM AND TOLERANCE – ARE YOU A MORON? (isn't all CAPS impressive? I can do it too!!!!!!!!!!!!!) actually please don't answer that. You are clearly one of the DUMBEST people in America (I respect my country). The fact that you even bring up America's foundations as a means to justify not allowing a Moslem rec center to be built just shows how insanely dumb you really are. Please do not procreate. I do not want your stupid children to be a part of the next generation that will someday run this country. Maybe go jump off something really high, or bang your head against a wall. And please, “God have mercy on our souls”? Dude... its over used... stop being fucking dramatic... seriously go bang your head against a brick wall.
That is all.

Tracy Patmore writes:

“What an offensive proposition. My thoughts go out to all the people who died on that terrible day. What kind of message does that send?”

My response (she at least can spell and string words together and use correct capitalization):

Clearly it sends a message of Tolerance. You know that little thing that America was founded on? If we really want to beat the extremists that threaten the world (um and not just Moslem extremists, have ya heard of a little group called the Westboro Baptists? Or what about those fucking idiots in florida (I don't respect florida I guess) burning copies of the Quran on 9/11) then we have to walk the walk. Sure America talks a great game, freedom, democracy, human rights, blah blah blah, but do we actually DO it??? ummmm sometimes? Yeah lets get a little street cred in the world and fucking walk the walk... there is hope for you Tracy, think a little bit more and you may actually become something. Good for you.

Glenda Kimbleton writes:

“Why should these people be allowed to build a mosque at Ground Zero or anywhere else in the U.S. We as Christians can not go to any of their countries and build a church or even speak of God. Let them go back where they came from and build all they want and cant until they fall out. Te were not invited to come to tis country and they are welcome to join us as Americans and Christians or they can go back as quickly as they came. Let the ones who come here learn to speak our language and worship our God or go backw\


ok wow....... first of all.... learn to spell or maybe type.... seriously there is too much wrong with this to get into.

My response:

Glenda.... oh Glenda, Glenda Glenda.... you should really look into things before you say something. There are Christians in the Middle East that have Churches. Also have you not ever heard of a little thing called missionaries? Yeah its this small-scale movement, maybe you haven't heard of it where you come from in Dumbshit America. You know Christians (usually white men actually) kind of go to these places and relieve the poor savages of their backward ideas about life and Gods and their whole existence, and bring them into the fold of the Almighty. They tend to build churches in these place and preach about God and worship God and generally talk about him. Did you know that there are Arab Christians???? Yes! Really! There really are! Fucking Shocking right?!?! Oh Oh Oh and did you know that Moslems also revere Jesus???? did you??? ohhhhhhh and lets not forget that by your logic we should kick out all the Jews in America because they are not Christians, hell even those crazy Moslems look up to the dude... but the Jews... not them... so America is Christian and only Christian huh? Wow...... did not know that... I am SHOCKED. Does that mean that Buhddists are not allowed here? Sooo.... the Dalai Lama not welcome here???? interesting.............. and as far as your beautifully constructed sentence (which wow... made so much sense) “Let them go back where they came from and build all they want and cant until they fall out.” Building requires money, infrastructure, a stable government....... you know small things like that.... Let me tell ya a little something, America kinda fucked em over dude... yeah... wow... I said it. Iraq, well we stopped them from nationalizing their oil, took out the dude in power that had any sort of legitimacy and installed Sadam Hussein!!! yeah! Not Joking! And Afghanistan, where a shit ton of the terrorists come from, we funded them! The CIA did... it was a proxy war, (have you heard of those? Look into 'em there was a lot of shit that went down) Charlie Wilson... there is a movie about it, maybe if you don't want to pick up a book and read about it you will be able to convince yourself to watch a movie with Tom Hanks... very good, I hope your minuscule brain can handle it. The US and Israel gave the people weapons to kill Russians! And not just any people, but organized Moslem groups, known as offshoots of the Moslem Brotherhood (the one and the same group that Osama bin Laden came from... Holy fucking shit!!!!!) sooooo yeah let them go build until they fall out (I have no fucking idea what that even means Glenda... you need some edumakation my friend) with all that money that they have... cause yeah well oops they don't really have any... ha! Here is an idea, why don't you go meet J. Steed from above and bang your head against a wall with him! You know, become a productive member of society for once!

There is more.... much much much more.... if you are curious, please go look it up... I mean you can't make this shit up... here! This is the link!

(sorry last one, no comment... its just fucking funny. Preston Hitchcock writes: “America need to kick out them damn muzlam and tare down all mosques and burn the karan”) it speaks for itself.

So anyway back to our national character. It will be good for Americans. We as a nation need to keep growing. There are clearly still FAR too many idiots out there.... the only way we are going to keep growing up is to go through the painful changes. America NEEDS this Moslem rec-center to be built. Its simple.

On a more serious note.... I am going to go have a banana yum!